By: Jonathan Moseley
Am I married? No. But I have great examples to follow. And when marriage comes, God-willing, these are questions my spouse and I will ask to keep God at the center of our marriage and for us to obey him as we grow in our love for one another. Marriages need direction, and good questions help provide that. "But really? You want me to ask all these questions?" Only if you value your soul, God's mission, and your spouse's joy, because that's where these questions are ultimately aimed. Yes, it will take time. Yes, it will take intentionality. Yes, you will have to forfeit other things. But your investment, or "sowing in the Spirit" (Gal. 6:8), will pay off. I hope you will find these helpful:
Questions to Ask Daily
1. What did God say from your time in his Word that impacted you?
2. What can we pray about?
Questions to Ask Weekly
3. What brought you joy?
4. Who can we reach out to and bless?
What sacrifices can we make for others?
5. Did you feel our love slip into familiarity?
In other words, how did we miss seeing each other as God’s gifts?
What moments captured the beauty of our love and led us to thank God for the gift we have in one another?
6. How did I strive to take on the same attitude of Jesus (Phil. 2:3-8) when I…
Led you and my family? (for the husband)
Followed you? (for the wife)
Gave attention to you and the kids?
Listened? / Spoke?
Changed diapers? / Cooked? / Cleaned?
7. How can I help you this week?
8. What are you most concerned about?
What promises of God can we trust together?
9. Were there ways you did not feel loved?
Were there ways you did not feel respected?
(This is a good place to apologize to your spouse.)
What are ways you felt loved?
What are ways you felt respected?
(This a good place to express gratitude to your spouse.)
10. Is there anything you have left unsaid—dreams, desires, confessions, convictions, unresolved hurts?
Questions to Ask Bi-Weekly
11. Are we thanking God for the gift of sex?
What about sex have you enjoyed?
Was there anything you did not enjoy?
Did you feel I was selfless in our sex?
Anything you would like to try?
Questions to Ask Monthly
12. How are our finances?
13. Is there any sin in my life I’m not seeing? (Be gentle here.)
14. Looking at the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23), what have you seen growing in my life?
15. Who do we want to share the Gospel with this month?
How should we plan accordingly?
